My boyfriend told me to lose weight

That to me is a deal breaker. But bear in mind, some people can start off with small criticisms like this 'if you love me you'll lose some weight so I can be sexually attracted to you again' , [and they] can quickly turn into controlling behaviors 'you can't eat that you'll get fat again'. Having said that, yes. This is certainly a 'legitimate' reason to break up. You haven't gained any weight, from what you've said? So the only thing that's changed is that he's feeling that seven- three- year itch. Honestly, if my partner told me they had thought about cheating on me with co-workers super tacky I would probably end that relationship.

The thing that would make me reconsider the relationship would be the fact that he admitted to thinking about cheating. So, Redditors who thought she should break up with him focused on the cheating part, but what about the weight part in of itself? Telling you to lose weight doesn't have to be an automatic deal breaker, but it can certainly be a red flag, depending on the intent. For example, if you're actually experiencing health complications due to your weight, your partner could just be looking out for your well-being. That doesn't mean you have to lose weight because they said so, though—that's still up to you.

There is no love in that statement.

They want you to look a certain way. No, you should not lose or gain weight for anyone else. It has to be your choice. I agree with CeCe. This guy just met you and is already dictating how much you should weigh? What if you found out how much money he made and told him he needed to try to make more, just a bit. Or if he has no muscles and you told him to tone up a little?

Would you feel out of line dictating anything to him now or with anyone you actually were in a relationship with. I know someone who met a guy, got engaged, and then was pressured to lose weight.

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She did, unhealthily, and the last time I saw her before her wedding she had black rings under her eyes. Do you really want to live like that? I know it might seem rough out there for plus sized women but you know, they get married and date just like everyone else. And you can find someone who is okay with you as you are, and also you if you gain or lose weight, which is really the best.

I personally would be taken aback if a man I just met said this to me. It was an unhealthy pattern. That said, my own long term significant other expressed his concern over my weight gain and asked me to get serious about weight loss. Looking my personal best for my boo is one of mine. It works for me, but I know his heart. But I think I was single for a reason. I also get that dating is hard and can seem abysmal at times. I was online dating for about a year and it definitely ebbs and flows, sometimes you see some great guys sometimes… not so much.

I think you have to loose weight for yourself. Your significant other, family, kids etc. I would be weary of any guy who told you that on the first date.

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Find out what this guy is really like. Self love is the key to any relationship. I think it is too soon to determine if you should lose weight for this guy. You only just met him. He only just met you and is already asking you to change your appearance? Only you can decide, but it seems too pushy to me. For someone to make such a request so early in the relationship concerns me a lot. It sounds to me like it had nothing to do with you but actually with him.

Does he know how active you are or not? Does he know what your health conditions are? Did you express dissatisfaction abt your body?

If he had asked you to exercise with him I would be rooting for him or he was worried about your health. But it appears he is worried about how he looks with you. I understand how you feel though, your longings and frustrations and the waning hope. I understand. Forget about you and whether you should or should not lose weight. That is something for you. Can we get back to the real issue: His bad behaviour!!

In what world has it become socially acceptable to ask a person on a first date if they are interested in fundamental change to their person? He sounds like a doucebag. If he genuinely liked you, he would date you and let it come up naturally, and also accept that this weight might be your weight. And on waiting to meet someone, I hear you. He loves being with me and would not ask me to change. Hi Forget about you and whether you should or should not lose weight.

So when he said he liked me, when he said he wanted to be with me, it all was a freaking game. Im just done with dateing Cece, all men do are play games with womens feelings.

I dont care what anyone says, they are all the same. Ive been hurt too many times to think differently now. Thanks for trying to help, and all the advice you and the commenters have left. I may be over reacting, but all I want is to love someone and have someone love me. Im just done.

Girl he just made it easier for you! Showed his truer colors even more by sending you that text. He is a perfect example of what I call a clown! Block his number and keep it moving. I just accepted that I will become a cat lady with an intense shoe collection! Just from your avi it is obvious you are very beautiful. Take time to take care of yourself. Look at this as a break. Plenty of ladies find high quality love without every hitting single digit sizes.

There are plenty of somebodies out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, but perhaps some time off will help you figure out how to find more of them.