To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. I hate it when I think I'm buying organic vegetables but when I get home I discover they're just regular donuts.
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch. It's called diet, because all the other 4-letter words were taken. An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. I'm on that new diet where you eat everything and pray for a miracle.
Hilarious Weight-Loss Quotes to Instantly Feel Better About Your Diet
When we lose twenty pounds. We may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. Seize the moment.
- 16 Funny Diet Quotes For Extra Weight Loss Motivation.
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Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard. We ought to have a diet salad dressing called ' Islands. From the day on which she weighs , the chief excitement of a woman's life consists in spotting people who are fatter than she is.
I wonder if there is woman in the world strong-minded enough to shed ten pounds or twenty,— And say, there now, that's plenty. Eat a third, drink a third, and leave empty in your stomach the remaining third. If anger overtakes you there will be room for the expansion of your stomach, and you will not suffer from apoplexy.
Everyday Power
She's got this real funny idea about a diet; you don't get fat if no one sees you eating. I think thou art in the habit of eating a great deal, and that thy power of restraining appetite is more slender than a hair, whilst an appetite such as thou nourishest would rupture a chain and a day may come it will tear thee up.
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
Funny Diet + Weight Loss Quotes + Cartoons
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. I lost so much weight, people kept looking at my ankles. Why not? That's where my pants were. I just went on a great diet. There are only three things you can't put in your mouth— a knife, a fork, and a spoon! My wife has come up with a very simple device to make me lose weight.
It's called a food bill. Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off. Oh dear, that's a lot of calories. Image the weight you are losing if going to the person you hate. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.
Weight Loss Comedy
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Wise Sayings is a database of thousands of inspirational, humorous, and thoughtful quotes, sorted by category for your enjoyment.
Funny Weight Loss Sayings and Quotes Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny weight loss quotes, funny weight loss sayings, and funny weight loss proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Simon Cowell. Mary Tyler Moore.
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Phil Mcgraw. Charles M. Dan Bennett.
Jackie Gleason. Mason Cooley. Betsy Canas Garmon. Kathy Freston. Janette Barber. Jane Wagner. Orson Welles. Harry Secombe. Caroline Rhea. Herbert B. Margaret Cho. Andy Rooney. Robert Atkins. Jennifer Greene Duncan. Dolly Parton. Peggy Ryan. Mae West. Franklin Jones.
Tricia Cunningham. Golda Poretsky. Hugh Allen.