My period tried to start several days after I had my first injection of testosterone, and there was less mess and less pain than I was used to. It was barely recognizable — and the "bloody part" of my period faded away within three days.
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Then my menstrual cycle stayed gone as long as I had a normal amount of testosterone in my body for my age range. Hey, at least some changes were happening. It's been said Rome wasn't built in a day — and changing your appearance from an year-old woman's to that of an adult man doesn't happen in one day, either. I've never been a large or even average-sized person, and I definitely looked like a girl before I transitioned. I had hips and what some might call a "feminine" waist, and my facial features were feminine enough to never be mistaken for a man's.
All of this meant I had to consider the possibility testosterone might not "do enough" to change my face and body.
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Luckily, I was incorrect about that — but the fear of not being able to look your own age when all is said and done is a valid one. There is no real way to predict how you'll turn out after two, five, or even ten years on "T. I got even more convinced I might never change enough to look like an adult man when I spent a year and a half being sometimes perceived as a woman and sometimes as a 12 or year-old boy. That wasn't the best of times to put it mildly.
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I've been called handsome by some women and men, as well as cute and other flattering descriptions. Some photographers — heck, more photographers than I ever expected — have also wanted to use me as a model for their creative projects. I was told by the doctor who prescribed me testosterone that I should gain a significant amount of body weight. Many trans men apparently do — either in muscle or otherwise.
I didn't. My metabolism was so fast to begin with that testosterone sped it up and I lost weight.
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Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if I'd had more body weight to lose. But I was about pounds before I ever injected testosterone. The reality was, I couldn't afford to lose much weight And then I got diabetes when I was 20, which worsened the problem. Some people find it harder to lose weight once they've got diabetes, but my body definitely decided to go in the opposite direction. I thought I might finally gain some weight on testosterone, but nope. I often marvel at how little I weigh now in a slightly disturbed way and I haven't felt "in control" of my weight in years — and I honestly never expected either of those things.
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